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sex before marriage

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sex before marriage

Postby lowrideteg on Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:38 am

well i dont know if this is the right section but i really just need some help and guidance on this subject, pretty sure others have posted on this but heres my situation.

ok well ive been dating the same girl for five and a half years now, we started in highschool as juniors and been together since we are now 22 years old, we had sex three months after getting together, and been doing it sence, well now my girlfriend has really been on a wonderful powertrip for god and she really has just taken off on this and its amazing, b/c coming where she has come from i didnt think she would get to god till i stepped up my game, so now its even made me want to start doing more for myself inmy walk with god, but now after five years she wants to stop having sex and any form of sex like other "stuff", until we get married, well i really want to but its really hard to stop after five years, i dont know, i know its wrong "i guess" but everytime i see her, i just want her more and now that we arnt doing it i want her even more, i just dont know how to stop this i really want to stop b/c i respect her and if this is what she wants then i love her and ill do it. in her mind she see sex as wrong, but i dont with her, i know im going to be with hher for the rest of my life, and i know im going to mary her, so i dont feel bad for having sex with her, b/c i know she is the one, and i love her fully. so am i wrong or what do i need to do, i want to do this for her, i want to stop the sex for her to show her i love her and respect her wishes, but im going crazy now all i think about is sex, i dont get it, so please and guidance would help, i really need help, or has someone else been here at the same place i have been, please help.

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Postby jfrog on Wed Sep 06, 2006 11:10 am

Been there my Brother. My wife and I had sex before we got married as well. I'm going to be blunt with you now that you know I've been where you are. First of all, are you planning on getting engaged anytime soon? If you are, that's a great start! If not, I would really hunker down with God and make sure this is the woman He has chosen for you. Second of all, you need to respect yourself as well as your girlfriend. Ask yourself a question, why do I think premarital sex is ok but she doesn't? When you come to the conclusion find out who's right. Third, wanting your girlfriend physically is a good thing. Being attracted to the woman you're thinking is the "one" in every way is good.

Some advice for you. It's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done, but, stop having sex in everyway and see what happens. Honestly, the more you two have sex the more it's going to take away from your first night together as husband and wife. My wife and I regret being weak. I have good news for you though. Never think you screwed up forever! After we got engaged we started wedding planning and than started premarital counseling three months before the wedding. Our Pastor asked us to stop having sex right then and there and to see what happens. Those three months were hard but TOTALLY worth it!!!!

Be quiet, listen to God, dive into His Word, fight with everything you have to stop having sex and see what happens my brother. God loves you and so do all of us here. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to discuss this further. :-)



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Postby teefer on Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:13 pm

Been there too. Before my wife and I were married we lived together. I had been a Christian for a while but had fallen away. She was not a Christian. When I came back to the Lord, and led her to Him we sat down and discussed what to do. Financially we were unable to live seperately on our own. We decided no more sex. The next six months (until we were married) we were celibate. It was hard but worth every bit of difficulty to know we were beiing obedient.
Hang in there, bud - you can do it.



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Postby REVILED on Wed Sep 06, 2006 4:19 pm

Here is what the Word says on the subject.





Until you are married...she is to be treated as a sister.

1st Timothy 5
1 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers,
2 older women as mothers, younger as sisters, with all purity.


If you really love her, dont cause her to sin.
1 Cor.13:5
5 (love) does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;


Sex before marriage is always a sin that should be repented of and avoided regardless of past history.

Ephesians 5:3
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;

If you cant control yourself, get married asap.
1st Cor.7:8-9
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.


Living together and fornication is grounds for removal from the fellowship.
1 Cor. 5

Hope that helps. Do the right thing.
I am praying for you and I am sure that the brothers here will support you as well.

God Bless!



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Postby K-Dog7469 on Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:05 pm

Do I or dont I ?

Ahhh the struggle with in.

I'll keep my mouth shut.



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Postby DANgerous on Wed Sep 06, 2006 7:31 pm

K-Dog7469 wrote:Do I or dont I ?

Ahhh the struggle with in.

I'll keep my mouth shut.


Do you or don't you? Please do Kevin.


The topic at hand:

Sex before marriage is wrong...it is a sin...God's Word says so. End of subject.

If you would like me to point out some verses, then I will do so, but I believe a few were already shared.


Now Mitchell nobody here is going to judge you for having sex before marriage. Certainly not me, because...well, I have had sex before marriage...am I proud of it? No...not at all. Would I take back everything I ever did to be pure for my future wife if I could? You bet your [smilie=5butthead.gif] I would. God's way is the best way and His way is no sex before marriage. So I encourage you and your girlfriend to take this before God. Lay down your rights to have sex until you are married. Do you have a friend who is a guy that you can be accountable to? Does your girlfriend have a friend who is a girl that she can be accountable to? I would suggest that. You are a lot less inclined to having sex if you have to tell someone like your pastor for example that you made the wrong choice and had sex with your girlfriend again. Accountability is something we need as Christians. Will this be tough? You bet your [smilie=5butthead.gif] it will be. HAHA! I got to use that line twice now. With God both you and your girl can keep it pure. Trust in Him.

You are not alone either. Many guys struggle with this as do women and you have a whole bunch of people here that are willing to support you who have or are going through the same things. We are here for you man.

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Postby lowrideteg on Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:55 pm

wow thamk you all so much for your guidance, i really needed what you all said, im tired of hearing people tell me, stop sex is wrong ur going to hell, that dosent help, that to me makes it worse. so thank you.

yes i actually just got a accountability friend, last week, its a friend ive had for years, were not as close as we were, but everytime something goes wrong or im depressed or just down, some weird way he ends up calling me, we dont talk alot so when he calls its amazing cause its always when i need someone to talk to. so he is my accountability partner.

now im kinda going through the feeling of not being good enough for her, this sounds sappy but i dont feel like shes attracted to me anymore, im scared shes with someone else, cheating on me, i know in my heart she isnt but my mind starts thinking that she is, i know she wouldnt but i still have these feelings, how do i control this. plus i started a study bible thing that last for 40 days, and its a step by step to getting closer to god and putting away temptations. i relly like it and i think its going to help, but it says to stay away from things that tempt you, but im around tempting stuff all the time, plus being into cars, reading car magazines with half naked women, car shows with wet tshirt contest, and bikini contest am i supposed to stay away from that stuff, how when my passion is in cars, everything i go to with cars customizing has a bad outloook on christians, not bad but, tempting. i does this mean ive gotta give up my passion and what i want to be my life CArs. i dont know how to deal with all this.

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Postby Doulos on Wed Sep 06, 2006 9:20 pm

Get in the word Man, God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. You can resist the temptation, its just a matter of relying on Him.

Fight the good Fight. Might I suggest you not be alone with your GF for an extended period of time for the next few weeks at least. Make friends 3rd wheel, youll get the accountability and the joy of torturing one of your single friends, Win Win!

Your Brother,
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Postby Saint on Wed Sep 06, 2006 9:44 pm

I had premarital sex with my first wife.
It clouded the truth that we were not properly yoked:
and that we had significant differences.
Those differences later pulled us appart.
If I had honered her as a sister in Christ I would have been more aware of the other parts of our relationship.

If you don't have a kid together; this is an opportunity to seek God and confirm that she is ment for you.
Seek premarital counceling. (it is so missunderstood)
God speeks to thease councilors and can oppen your eyes up to things you haven't got to yet.

Don't wast any more time in indecision.
1. Seek counceling
2. Marry her or let her go in peace and with grace.
3. Don't wast peoples years like that.

Remember your relationship should glorify God.

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Postby DANgerous on Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:11 am

Doulos wrote:Make friends 3rd wheel, youll get the accountability and the joy of torturing one of your single friends, Win Win!


Hey now, I'm one of those single people. LOL!




Mitchell, temptation is there and will always be there. It's what you do with it that matters. Believe me, I know and am tempted daily and stumble still sometimes, but Christ is there every step of the way. His mercies are new every morning as a few friends keep reminding me.

You say you worry about your passion for cars and that all there is around the car scene is half naked women and what not...well...look at the site you're on. HRC³ is not about that stuff. There are good people here who have the same passion for cars that you do, just waiting to hang out with ya, chat it up, whatever. The people here are real too, not fake. We are here for you.

Saint wrote:Remember your relationship should glorify God.


I agree totally with this.

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Postby lowrideteg on Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:35 am

i know and i see this website and everytime imon here im so moved and inspried to do better and be better, im so jealous of you guys on here, yall have something great going on here this whole
CARS AND CHRIST MOVEMENT its just unreal, its what ive been loooking for, everyone that i come in contact with they see the midnight races, cops and drag racing, drinking in parking lot meets, trash talking in meets and all the bull crap that alot of car people bring, and i wish they could experience it a diffrent way, but i havent even been to one of yalls meet so i dont know fully , but from what ive heard and seen it sounds right. i m just in awe of what yall have done. thank you.

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Postby DANgerous on Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:36 am

So where are you located?

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Postby lowrideteg on Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:12 am

im located in atlanta georgia

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Postby paris04 on Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:21 am

I'm a girl... with pretty much the same story... we're trying to stop it too...

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Postby lowrideteg on Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:23 am

and how are yall doing

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