OnceWasLost's 2000 Ford Zx2

I'm going to be transparent so nobody can say I'm a hypocrite...I gave my life to Christ back in August 2005, and have tripped and stumbled many times since then,but got right back up and repented before the Lord...Before I got saved I loved the whole party scene...All I wanted to do was get drunk, smoke weed, stand out in a group and tell jokes just to make people laugh and like me so that I would feel fullfilled...I was a real jurk most of the time...I liked to bring people down on the account of me feeling better.I always was thinking "all i need to do is get laid and my life will be complete"...Not true...It made things complicated in my life and I started putting my friends off and not feeling sure about my life or my future.

Then Amanda, my girlfriend, at that time started going to church because of the unfullfillment in her life, and we broke up because of the lifestyle I was leading. Which at the time I thought that was hypocritical, but NOW I know better. I was really confused at that point and didn't know what to do. Then like a week later Amanda called me up on her birthday (July 21) and asked me to go to a 'fellowship small group'. So i ended up going and the first time i went I thought it was really stupid, but started going anyways so that I would get back with Amanda...I had this NEED for a relationship that my heart was reaching for, but I later found out that that need wasn't for a relationship with Amanda, but with the Lord.

So I gave my life to Christ in the first week of August 2005, but didn't want to let go of the things that I thought weren't a big deal...by this time I had already quit drinking and smoking so I thought that I was a 'good person' and that i would go to heaven now...Amanda and I was back together but my life still wasn't complete and I was still having sexual relations...I was really lost and didn't know why...I mean 'I had quit drink and smoking, i was going to heaven(in my head), I got the girl back-life was good,but something was missing...I mean everyone at the youth ministries seemed happy all the time, but not me...I was just angry and frustrated at myself for having such high hopes that I would be completely happy,but was the total opposite...

Then I got into discipleship...and my discipler Sean, laid everyhing out on the table for me...He helped me to realize that "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it"-Mark 8:35...So that's when I decided to stop playing video games,stop watching movies that don't bring glory to Christ, stop caring about my car,stopped having a sexual relation and life was getting better...I was reading the Word(Bible),going to church,hanging out with people that bring me up rather than put me down, going to youth ministry(and taking notes)...I began praying and having a relationship with the Lord, and he was revealing things in my life and molding me into being what he wants me to be..."Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive grievences you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all things put on Love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."Colossians 3:12-14...