jdpenner's 1994 Mazda B2300

You know, I could start with the same story; "I was born in a Christian home, had Christian parents, had Christian friends..." and there's nothing about that testimony that I regret or am ashamed of! Instead, I thank God that I was born into a situation like that.
The fuller story is that I was born in a part of Manitoba, Canada known as the Bible belt. This meant that it was considered common and usual to have the Christian home, friends, parents situation. I grew up on a farm raised by hard-working, but also fun-loving and very devout parents. In this context, I could best say my life was sheltered. At the young age of five, I gave my life to the Lord. At that age, there was no great conviction, no great need or emptiness. Instead, it just felt like something that had to be done, coming from the circumstances I just wrote about. In this same way, I attended church regularly, participated in youth and Sunday School activities, and visited Bible Camp every summer.
This all changed when I went to high school. Suddenly my sheltered life was exposed to the full brunt of the "real world". In my first year in Grade 9, I saw my classmates and friends (most of whom came from similar backgrounds) deal with this real world differently. Some clung onto their faith as strongly as they could, becoming vocal of their beliefs in school, active in their church communities and shunning all ungodly things. Others went the other way, fully embracing the new experiences available to them, making new friends, trying new things (and substances) and putting their faith into the backseat.
I did what I've always preferred to do; I avoided the choice. I still kept my faith, attended church and youth group, avoided drinking, smoking and the other "sins", but otherwise my faith remained the "thing I had to have". Outwardly, I wasn't "bad", inwardly, I felt that my mind could be as "good" or "bad" as I wanted it to be.
By my senior year in high school, my void inside became so apparent that I started wondering if my faith was real anymore. For the first time in my life, I actually started to read the scriptures, cover to cover, searching for the meaning in what it meant when I told others I was a "Christian".
Finally, at a youth retreat, I realized that I had become separated from God. One evening after the speaker finished his message, I went down to my room, knelt, and prayed to God to renew my life again.
I started to fill this gap in my soul, but it would take a long time. In college, I still avoided College and Career groups and chapel, instead seeking out the worldly comforts of the Internet, movies, and video games. By my second year, the gap in my life was back. However, God showed me a way to keep my faith alive. In my second semester, I was visiting a church and read in their bulleting of a kids ministry called "Boys Club". Later that week I called the Club's leader and asked if I could help. He welcomed me warmly. Over the next few months, I found a way to keep my faith healthy and alive in youth ministry.
Some of you reading this might think it hypocritical for a person struggling with a stagnate faith to get involved in youth ministry (being a “log in my eye” situation), and I couldn't argue against it. However, my experiences in Boys Club led me to become involved in other youth ministries, such as High School Sunday School teaching and Junior Youth leadership. This gave me a new passion for an old faith, and an opportunity to really check out my own faith questions while trying to answer the kids' faith struggles. It was at that time that I decided that God was calling me into youth work, and I officially struck out toward my goal of becoming a teacher.
It is this goal that has kept me working toward making my faith healthier and healthier. Outwardly, many see me as a stable person who is good with kids and strong in his faith. Inwardly, I am still struggling to keep away an inner dead and giving into temptation. Continuing college with isolation created a need for company. Having a computer and Internet handy led to an unhealthy temptation toward pornography which got steadily worse. Praise God my parents caught me red-handed this year and are now working with me to get these temptations under control.
And now, after all of this rambling and writing you find me as I truly am, a struggling, tainted, young man, right now between college and the "real world" once again. This time however, I am feeling more confident. I have taken a teaching position at a private school and am planning on finally attention a College and Career meeting for the first time in my life. For those of you who have read my testimony to the end, although I do not know you , and know we are all brothers and sisters in Christ and I ask for your prayers in my continuing walk/struggle with Christ.

Quite a lot for someone who "grew up in a Christian home", eh?